Stop the self sabotage

How we look, smell, talk and move  during meeting and networking events, shapes the way others respond to us. It’s uncomfortable but true. Over the years, I’ve had some of the toughest conversations with clients around these points, from addressing poor hygiene to telling a director that their emotional outbursts are undermining their authority.

These conversations are not about shaming, they are about removing barriers to influence and effectiveness. Hurt feelings fade, but improved impact lasts.

It’s About Presence, Not Perfection

We’re not talking about body shape, gender, or any physical attribute outside your control. This is about your presence, the impression you create. When people feel at ease around you, they are more open to your ideas, leadership and influence.

Simple habits matter:

Maintain basic hygiene and oral care. (Bad breath or coffee/alcohol fumes are the #1 complaint I hear about professionals at Meeting and Networking events.)
Wear clean, pressed clothing. It doesn’t need to be designer, just free from stains, smells and lint.

Avoid eating and drinking during key interactions. Few things undermine authority faster than crumbs on your shirt or food in your teeth.
If it looks like you don’t care about yourself, people will assume you don’t care about them, or their business.

Be Presentable, Not Regrettable

At meeting and networking events, every detail counts. Eating and drinking can introduce hazards, from a stray drip on your clothing to alcohol loosening your discipline. Unless it’s a sit-down meal, consider holding off until afterwards. This isn’t about abstinence; it’s about avoiding distractions that leave an impression for the wrong reasons.

The Biggest Barrier: EGO (Edging Growth Out)

This is the toughest truth of all. Often, our biggest obstacle isn’t hygiene or attire it’s our ego.

I’ve learned this myself. My enthusiasm, insight and generosity are strengths — but unchecked, they can tip into arrogance or overbearing behaviour. The moment we focus more on being recognised for our efforts than on helping others grow, we lose influence.

Everyone has an ego. The key is to recognise that your audience’s ego matters just as much as your own. If you can give them recognition, they will value you more. Influence grows when others feel seen and respected.

Final Thought

Influence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being intentional with how you show up. Your physical presence, your habits, and your ego management all send signals. The more positively you manage those signals, the greater your impact.

When you align your presence with your purpose, you don’t just enter the room, you own it.

by Jonathan Smith Owner of Stay Beyond the Chaos Ltd

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